Introduce your kids to the crushing eye of the surveillance-state early!
If you thought “Elf on the Shelf” skirted the line between old-fashioned wholesome holiday tradition and facilitating acceptance of a dystopian surveillance-state, boy do we have good news for you!
This product is a dummy camera that looks like a domed security camera and is meant to fool your stupid children into believing that Santa’s elves are monitoring their every move. This is not normal.
Here’s some “facts” from the sales-sheet:
- Encourage good behaviour this Christmas from your little ones!
- Elfie is watching and reporting to Santa good or bad behaviour!
- Features a red flashing light that makes it all that more real.
- Sure to keep the children in line.
- Requires: 2 x AA Batteries (not included)
- Requires: Complete lack of parental conscious (not a problem)
Not to mention that “Elves Behaving Badly” sounds like the title of a porn flick.
Also, why the hell are those kids jumping??
Please only buy this as a White Elephant Gag Gift for $3.78 from our partners on Amazon!
Hat tip to comedian Kevin Hall, A NonPro Comedy Show Alumn!
|Available on Amazon||$9.99|